Holidays

Today is christmas eve, i bet everyones excited for tomorrow. Me? Well not really, Christmas is just like another day. For me christmas used to be about spending time with your family, it was that one day out of 365 others days that your whole family got together and spent the whole day together. I cant remember one christmas i had like that. For once in my life, i would like one day were i could have a good christmas, but i know its not this year. But one day, it will happen i know it. 

Other than that i have no spirit in christmas, I'm just rather not in a good mood today. I don't know, there's just to much going on in my mind. Im getting sick, Im tired, I have to finish packing. Everything is so complicated. Hopefully, before this break ends everything will be okay. My wish for now is that this year i will have a good birthday. Usually i tend not to care anymore, cause birthdays are just a day were you just get older! But this year i turn 16. Woohoo right.. yeah hopefully that day doesn't end up being a bad one. Who knows..Happy Holidays. 

God is love<3 

insanely crazy.

Today i came home early from school, and i was going crazy.. why? Well i don't know really, honestly I'm still trying to find out myself. For some weird crazy reason i kind of wanted to just stop going to school, maybe just drop out. Then i started fussy and fighting with myself, maybe Im going completely insane.. who knows.

 But then i had a really good talk and realized that I'm a very strong person, but i always let little things get in my way and mess everything up. But this time I'm not going to, I'm putting my foot down and saying no. I really just need to focus on what's really important to me. Church, School, Family, Friends. And maybe other stuff but to me your not that important. And i don't want to struggle with your problems anymore, i know i say this all the time but i need to stop. I moved on and that's the way i want to stay. And next time even if they ask me, i would say i don't even know your name. And tomorrow i will be attending school for the whole day. lucky me! (: 

Everyone leaves...

I miss you so much! Each and everyday when i go home your not there, and either is he. I know I'm growing older and i should be okay. But i feel terrible every single day. I been even though sometimes i could be mad at them so much i still loved them. My whole life it was just me you and him. But now it'll never ever be the same. Thinking about it, its life and come to realize it today and think about it just now i'll never get that chance again. I guess everyone was right, you only get one chance in life and if you mess up your only chance you'll never get it back. And sometimes i feel like i messed it all up! And for my brother and my dad I love you guys very much, no matter how much i dislike you guys at times. I LOVE YOU GUYS!