everlasting.

Sometimes i wonder why i live in the life i live, i don't understand why i've been chosen to live in this kind of life. is it supposed to make me a strong person, is it supposed to make me a smarter person. these things i just don't understand at times. maybe because I'm young and things all don't make sense to me. but then i do understand God made my life the way it was supposed to be, without any of my input or anything he made my life the way he knew it was supposed to be. So everyday I'm going to pray to him, and ask him for my purpose in life. What I'm supposed to be living for. Cause everyone in life, has a reason for living. Nobody lives for just no reason. Everyone has a reason. 

on the other note.. 

Tonight for the first time in my life, i had a talk with my brother and i realized so many things. besides my whole life is changing, i realized that everything is different now, and nothing ever will be the same. He told me things that made my thoughts more clear. We had a talk without arguing. And for the first time ever he told me that he loved me.... you know i really don't like it when people tell me they love me. It hurts actually..i don't understand why, but it just does. It makes me all sad and stuff. But what i hate the most is that, your parents, your grandparents, anyone you could trust before, you can't really. Or maybe its just me, i know that i can't trust anyone and that i can't depend on anyone. Thats why i learned that the only people i can depend on is God and myself. That's it. Life goes, you have to learn from everything thing that goes on, and then use it to move on. 

God gives you everlasting love. <3