Holidays

Today is christmas eve, i bet everyones excited for tomorrow. Me? Well not really, Christmas is just like another day. For me christmas used to be about spending time with your family, it was that one day out of 365 others days that your whole family got together and spent the whole day together. I cant remember one christmas i had like that. For once in my life, i would like one day were i could have a good christmas, but i know its not this year. But one day, it will happen i know it. 

Other than that i have no spirit in christmas, I'm just rather not in a good mood today. I don't know, there's just to much going on in my mind. Im getting sick, Im tired, I have to finish packing. Everything is so complicated. Hopefully, before this break ends everything will be okay. My wish for now is that this year i will have a good birthday. Usually i tend not to care anymore, cause birthdays are just a day were you just get older! But this year i turn 16. Woohoo right.. yeah hopefully that day doesn't end up being a bad one. Who knows..Happy Holidays. 

God is love<3 

insanely crazy.

Today i came home early from school, and i was going crazy.. why? Well i don't know really, honestly I'm still trying to find out myself. For some weird crazy reason i kind of wanted to just stop going to school, maybe just drop out. Then i started fussy and fighting with myself, maybe Im going completely insane.. who knows.

 But then i had a really good talk and realized that I'm a very strong person, but i always let little things get in my way and mess everything up. But this time I'm not going to, I'm putting my foot down and saying no. I really just need to focus on what's really important to me. Church, School, Family, Friends. And maybe other stuff but to me your not that important. And i don't want to struggle with your problems anymore, i know i say this all the time but i need to stop. I moved on and that's the way i want to stay. And next time even if they ask me, i would say i don't even know your name. And tomorrow i will be attending school for the whole day. lucky me! (: 

Everyone leaves...

I miss you so much! Each and everyday when i go home your not there, and either is he. I know I'm growing older and i should be okay. But i feel terrible every single day. I been even though sometimes i could be mad at them so much i still loved them. My whole life it was just me you and him. But now it'll never ever be the same. Thinking about it, its life and come to realize it today and think about it just now i'll never get that chance again. I guess everyone was right, you only get one chance in life and if you mess up your only chance you'll never get it back. And sometimes i feel like i messed it all up! And for my brother and my dad I love you guys very much, no matter how much i dislike you guys at times. I LOVE YOU GUYS!

I Don't Know Anymore

I don't know where i am anymore, I fell like I'm losing my head. Things seem more complicated than it sounds. I'm losing touch to my closest friends, i never wanted any of this to happen and for some weird reason i just don't seem to understand why that is. I want to go back in time where everything was alright. Or go forward in time to where everything works out. 

Honestly to say, sometimes in life i feel like I'm alone.  There's no one out there i could talk to. But then again maybe its just me. I'm tired of making excuses that I'm alright when I'm not, cause the truth is that I miss my parents by brother. I miss having a family. Its like every time i call my mom or my dad i end up crying, i hate it so much but as much as i feel so upset inside i have to let them know that I'm okay. 

I miss my best friends, i miss talking to them all the time. I miss spending every weekend with them, I miss always hanging out at the REC with them. Maybe its just high school and we're all supposed to go different ways, but i want it like no matter what way we go that we'll still be friends. Because i don't know how it'll be if we weren't friends. We've been friends for a couple of years now and you became one of my best friends, but some of these days i feel just so different. I don't know what to do, cause i feel like I'm trying... But then i feel like I'm failing... I don't know why. 

Sometimes i just want to scream, yell so loud that the whole world can hear me. Sometimes i want to cry and fill up a ocean. Sometimes i just want to get away with the world, but it keeps coming back at me. Life's hard, but no one ever said it was easy. I just want to be happy, but maybe thats to much to ask for. 

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.-Helen Keller

Giving Thanks! <3

I know thanksgiving was yesterday, but i had no time yesterday so today since i have so much time I'm writing my thanks! Lets start... 

First off my wonderful PARENTS!

Well I'm very glad they had me otherwise i wouldn't be here. I'm thankful that even though there has been a lot going on lately and neither of them are here with me, they still try very hard. Nothings the same with out them, and even though i get mad at them at times for not working things out and I'm always in the middle of everything, i still love them very much! And I'm always thankful for my STEP-PARENTS, even though there not my very own parents there still my parents in one way or another. They both try hard and i appreciate that very much even though at times i don't show it. I love everyone them very much! <3

My weird annoying loving BROTHERS!

I can first off say it has been very different without both of them here, even though there really only my half brothers i don't think of them any different, they have both always been there and we've all been through the same things. I miss them both very much each and everyday. But I'm thankful that i can still talk to them and that no matter what they'll still be in my life. And I'm thankful that i have brothers and that my brothers are mine. 

My amazing COUSINS, AUNTS, UNLCES, GRANDPARENTS!

The rest of my amazing family, well lets see I'm very thankful that i have a caring, loving, wonderful family. There always there for me when i need them, they try hard to see me and i appreciate that. They all teach me to do good things and not bad, even though there are times where we could all me mad at each other i could never hate them, i love them all so much and miss them every single day as well. Sometimes i feel bad for not keeping in touch as much as they try, but I'm thankful that no matter what there still there for me! And I love them all! <3

Hmm, my awesome, super best friend JESERENE! 

Im very glad and thankful that i have a very awesome super best friend like her! There maybe many times where we could get annoyed of each other or mad, but in the end she's always there! She's always there for me, always willing to listen to what i have to say and even though when she tells me somethings bad and ask me not to do it and i do, she won't be mad at me forever and as long as I'm happy she'll be happy for me as well. She's funny, weird and she's my super best friend! (: And i l.o.v.e. her! <3

My also fantastic, caring, sister-ish, best friend ANAHI!

Well well Anahi is like a wonderful sister i never asked for, well actually i always wanted a sister and ended up with 4 brothers, maybe thats why god gave me an fantastic best friend whos like a sister to me! Im very thankful that she's in my life! No matter what we go through i know she's always there for me! Even though i feel as if right now in life somethings going wrong with us, but I'm pretty sure we can fix it. But other than that she's amazing and so caring. She is very nice and always so generous to others and even though sometimes i pick on her she doesn't hate me, and I'm very glad that she's in my life today! And i also L.O.V.E. her! <3

Oh the marvelous, outstanding GPC! 

Im very thankful that i go to GPC, i wouldn't want to be at any other church that this. Everyone in GPC is all like family to me, every single one of them. People there are so loving and caring. When I'm there i feel safe, loved, and cared for. All the youth are wonderful there like brothers and sisters to me! It's always so much fun hanging out with everyone there. The EM are also very amazing people, i never met such funny people, i love everyone at GPC. It's like no matter what they'll always be there for you in trouble times or in anytime. So I'm very very thankful that i have my church and the people in my church! I love them all very much! <3 

Even though this person goes to my church he's just spectacular, ALLEN!

This boy is like a brother to me, we've been friends for a long time and I'm very thankful that still today he's in my life, even though we do fight and argue about stupid things and get mad at each other at times. Were still really good friends! I can always tell him things, and make jokes with him as well. He has always been there for me, he saved my life when i almost fell off a cliff, and just always been there for me no matter what, he never left me in trouble times. He is a wonderful guy, a nice loving caring brother like friend! And i could say i love him as well! (:

Ooops I almost forgot about my fabulous, funny, weird, great friends, RECHIE & STEFAN!

Hahaha oh geez, I'm very thankful that these two guys are a part in my life. They make my schools days just so bright and cheerful! Even though sometimes one's a little weird, haha it's a joy to have them around. Even though we've just started to get close this year! There wonderful, there ALWAYS willing to listen to everything and anything. I love hanging out with them cause i always have a good time. They always know how to make someone laugh and its wonderful, i think my life might be a little boring without them, but i wouldn't have to worry cause there in my life now! And I'm very thankful! (:

There are a lot of others I'm thankful for! 

And if i didn't write about you, I'm sorry! 

But if your in my life, THANK YOU! 

dislike

The kind of people i dislike the most are the type of people who will judge and hate someone that they don't even know, and even more than that is people who don't know how to speak up especially speaking up for your friend. If you can call someone your friend you shouldn't let someone else start talking sh*t about them and you just sit there and just agree because thats just like a backstabber. Which could describe you. 

“i’m a slut because i’ll wear shorts and a tank top. I’m a bitch because i don’t let you push me around. I’m a liar because i won’t tell you everything. I’m stupid because sometimes i’m wrong. I’m ugly because my face isn’t perfect. I’m a whore because i like boys. I’m annoying because i’m not chill enough. I’m a loser because i’m not friends with your group. I’m fake because most of the time i’m happy. I’m weird because i’m not like you. I’m controlling because i get mad. Sometimes i’m clingy because i like being around people. I’m greedy because i like to be satisfied. I’m naive because i’m younger than you. I’m conceited because i’m proud of who i am. I’m rude because my manners aren’t perfect. i’m unappreciative because i don’t praise you. Don’t tell me who i am because i already know.”

And just for your information I ain't that easy. Guys may look at me and think that I fall fast but no, correct yourself. I'm much more complicated than you think and I won't let that go. I'm not playing hard to get but I won't lower my standards just cause you're kinda cute. Now who the heck do you think you are? You ain't gonna tie me down.

believe.

I believe that god has given me this kind of year because he knew i could handle it. i think it was so i learn from my mistakes and learn a bunch of new things. i do admit a lot has happened through out the year, good and bad. And i've learned so much! whether its with my family, friends, boys, anything. I could say that i have became a stronger better person. 

I seem to always have problems with family, i don't understand it either do i enjoy it..I HATE IT. Ever since i was a little kid, all i ever wanted was just the so called "perfect" family, but its not always happily ever after is it. Whatever I'm still young, and i believe that as i get older, one day everything will turn around and it'll all be okay. We'll all be okay. 

Today while i was taking a shower i heard this song i haven't heard in a long time "runaway love" and i realized that I'm very grateful that i have a church that i can call family, somewhere i can be transparent to the people around me, people i can call my brothers and sister. And so i thought if you can't be yourself at church with god, where can you be.. i sure don't know. So I'm so thankful that i have a place where I'm loved by people i can call my family. 

Oh and boys, well someone once told me that girls and guys are two totally different people. They will NEVER be able to understand each other, because they both go through different things, and i believe that. I mean you can know them so well, but that doesn't mean you totally understand them, you just never really know what they actually mean. And i think at my age they shouldn't really matter to you at all, its not like your going to get married with them, so what's the point of getting all worked up about it...right? Why should you sit on your couch eating a tub of ice cream, watching a movie and crying, just because of a boy. I mean i don't say that i won't ever be sad over something and i don't get the point either, I'm still trying to figure it all out myself. I'm lost and confused as well. Boys just give you mixed emotions and you just fuss and stress about it. But really it all ends in the end. And thats it, your left with the memories, so for now i want to take a break. Focus on church, school, family, friends, my life. And thats it. 

why

god, i just don't understand why this always happens to me. why i always have to go through this. this feeling this painful feeling. i feel like im dying. i cant take it anymore. im sick and tired of it all. at times i just dont want to live at all. i mean all i ever wanted was a family, and the only thing i have to my family is leaving. i dont know. i cant stand it here i just cant. why me, why..  

don't worry now.

sometimes its hard to say good-bye, even if you know you should. sometimes its hard to let go of something you loved so much. but if time comes then let it be, its probably telling you that its time. you can't hold on forever. cause in the end it'll just hurt more.. and the more you hurt the harder it is to move on. 

i look back all the time, and i miss it. i miss everything... you, him, it. even last night i was thinking and i hated it, sometimes i wish nothing ever happened so then i wouldn't have to be going through this, i wouldn't have to miss you. i remember everything but the image in my mind is slowly just fading away.. and what i hate the most is that you keep coming back and that makes me miss you, and i want it to all just go away. but when you trying what can i do but take that chance. but sometimes I'm scared because I'm afraid that if i let you back in i'll never be able to let go. and i don't want that. even now i can't let anyone else in my life and its because of you. and now I'm just scared of getting hurt again. you make all the guys seem like there horrible. if they do anything wrong it all comes back to you. but how come with you every things okay? how can you just sit there and be okay? i don't know... but i know one day i'll be okay. and i'll be able to love someone else again. but in all the bad things you made me strong and smarter. so thanks for all those talks. and ps a i think its time for you to let me go. i will always love you and you already know that. so go, go on and live your life and let me go. i belong here. 

any better than this.

i don't know what's going on in my life, its all too confusing. it's actually shocks me how we can talk like friends. i miss you at times. you always seem to surprise me in the most weirdest ways. even though it breaks my heart that we will never be like we used to because were better.. or at least we try.  i don't even know anymore. and until I'm fully over you, i don't think I'm ready to move on. what i love the most about you is that you always seem to be catching me when i fall. maybe the reason you always come back is because you know it's not right. all i can say is that it's a lot different now, we both changed. some good, some bad. 

p.s.: i still love you...<3

you just need to try.

in life if you want something you have to try. i always knew that but i never really took it in until today... 

so i was taking a nap, and then i suddenly woke up and thought it was the morning and that i had forgot to do all my homework. and oh geez i had a lot. and i knew i had to do it or else my grade would drop. but when i got up i realized it was still that same night. and i only slept for an hour. and so i ate dinner and sat and did my homework. which was surprise i did with out procrastinating.. but my mind actually was, so while i was doing my homework i thought of other stuff i didnt really look into. like the fact that boys are just boys. 

so like at school there's this guy and i thought he was pretty cute, but i really thought he was a freshman and since i would never date anyone younger than me. i just said whatever and forgot about everything. but then today i realized he was a senior and then someone said they were going to talk to him for me and stuff. and i said okay whatever. but then i realized that in a way i do want a boyfriend, but i want that type of guy i could be totally myself. and we can just act like really good friends. still joke around and everything but he's just yours. you know? ah maybe im just crazy. but who knows. thaaats it. i need to focus on my school right now.. real talk. 

peace love and chapsticks. 

xoxo, nina yoon <3

falling down.

it all just doesn't make sense to me, i never really cared about him like this before. i never really cared that we didn't again. but today when he walk through the doors, it felt like my heart sank. i felt like something big was missing inside me. i don't know what it is. i feel like i fell for him. but i don't want to. when he laugh it's just so cute! but I'm still scared what if i lost my chance, what if i never get to see him again, what if tonight god gave me what i always asked for, my one chance to see him so i could change everything. but i didn't take it, i just let it go. i feel heartbroken, i feel empty, i feel like I'm losing my head, i feel angry. sometimes i feel like i try so hard, but none of my efforts are important to anyone. I'm tired of trying to fix this friendship that never really happened. and yeah why do i try, if i know if i know in the end I'm just going to fall down. i don't know, at least i tried right?.... 

i thought it was all over, the guy drama... the son of the king is gone, and i was happy because even though i felt alone and sad at times, i was healed. but then tonight came. and i don't know what happened. oh god if you could just set me in the right path, the path i should go in. if you could only put my mind in the way you think it should be going. god i need you to help me! i just keep falling... 

alive

boys, geez they drive me crazy.  you could be ending up doing something you never would of thought just because of one guy. i lost my head, and finally i got it back and I'm putting my life back on track. for the first time in a very long time i felt alive. 

it was last weekend, i was at a friends birthday party and i felt so happy. and i missed that feeling, i couldn't stop laughing it was wonderful. i felt great even going home. i realized that it is hard to move, but if you keep trying you'll get through just fine. i mean i still have many problems either its family, friends. but i believe one day it'll be okay. and if its not okay then its not the end. i'll tell myself the things i need to hear, i'll keep my chin up. and try not to break down. because i know that i can do it. i can make it through life. even though there are times when i just want to kill my self. but i know there's something worth living for.

and with all the boys, gosh i don't know. i think for now i'll just stick with my secret crush boy. and to surprisingly to say i think for now or for good i think I'm finally over boy. but i don't want to speak to soon... thats about it. i don't know. 

   god is good.  love, n.yoon

oh dear.

Dear God, 

Give me the strength, courage, patience, & trust to fall in love with you first, before i fall in love with anyone else. 

love, ninayoon<3

nothing left

everyone always told me friends before family, but what if your friends are the only family you got?

doesn't mean anything

I used to think have it all, everything was just right. you and me. me and you. thats all that really mattered to me. but now its over.  and sometimes all i want is for us to go back, for everything to turn back around. you made me so happy, the thoughts the feelings everything. i wish you were here, i wish i took the chance when you tried, so i guess its really not your fault. i guess i do thats a lot. i give up when i shouldn't. i also shouldn't have pushed you away. its you that i want. i miss you every single day. i wish just that one day you might come back. i know i shouldn't be doing this, i know i shouldn't be wanting you back. and i honestly don't know why. i cant move on right this moment, i try but how can i like someone if i cant stop thinking about you. but now that your gone.. i guess it doesn't matter what i do. or if i even try. it doesn't mean anything...

love kills, slowly

This choice i made was hard. I guess its not easy letting you go. Everyone tells me that its simple but its really not. It's kind of like losing a best friend that you never had. Its like every other day i miss you, and then every other day im glad im not with you anymore. One thing that makes me miss you the most is the fact on how much you try to win me back again, but i honestly just dont understand why..and you never want to tell me why. You always leave me heartbroken and then i end up chasing back for you again. It's  stupid, i know and  I'm sick and tired of it. Cause when i try you don't, and when i give up you try. You make me feel in the most saddest ways, and its hard cause i cant talk to anyone about you but you. Because it's difficult, it's confusing, it's just you. We've be through a lot, we had a lot of ups and downs and i guess now we can both just look back to those memories and try to call this whole thing a good learning experience. I can never hate you, and i will sure miss you mostly everyday of my life and forever i will love you. So thanks i guess forever. 

"It's not good to wipe your emotions on you sleeves."

sometimes

you know how you sometimes have those days where you just dont know where you are. or where you should be or where your going . your clueless, you just dont know.

random thoughts

well i havent been blogging in a while because i had no internet at home since i got back. so i hadnt had the time to. but nothing much has been going on since i got back. nothing to exciting. 

schools in about 3 weeks.. gee summer went by too fast. but besides all the homework, i cant wait for school. i dont know why. well im currently eating coffee cake and chocolate milk. waiting for time to pass. happy to say i ended everything with PC. oh geez. story of my life. no j-k. but yeah i felt so stupid, thinking about it. well so no more eye camping! geeeez we all suck. but anahi and i are planning a trip to wild waves! hopefully its sunny. and hopefully we can go monday. cause sad to say this would be are last eye event all together. its sad but slowly everything and everyone seems to be going there own ways. i remember we used to be like best of friends always hang out everyday. sitting at jack in the box for 2 hours. haha oh geez those were some good days. and all those are over. fast food is bad, ew. i think last summer was better, but i cant say that this summer was bad because it was pretty awesome. except i didnt hang out with old friends. and im really trying to do that before summer ends. i dont know why. the reasons i write these blogs is because later on i can look back and see whaat good i was up to! haha yuuup yuup. ohh i cant wait til i get my laptop, thats one good about school, you get a laptop. so well this is a random blog, because i dont know i just felt like writing. oh its half way until my birthday. but i dont really like my birthday it always seems to be horrible. every year, since my dad stop saying happy birthday to me. it might not be that big of a deal but still i dont ask for anything except him to just say happy birthday to me. but that never happens he just pretends its just another day..... so besides all that last night at EM we watch a movie, and then i saw a miracle it was pretty amazing i might say. you know sometimes i have this feeling like i want to scream my lungs out and just break out crying in the middle of no where or just run and run and never look back. but i dont know where im running in to and dont know where im going. what path my life is going into. i dont know. i just dont understand whats going on in this world sometimes. everything just happens to fast...  

the best things in life are FREE. 

love's free <3

ninayoon

tired tired tired

so currently im sitting on a couch at my aunt's house, watching my cousins play the wii. so anyways this week has been very tiring. VBS was fun hanging out with all then little kids. my group was the best! i love those kids. there so adorable. (: oh and then friday night i went to applebees with jaymo, josh, and jisoo i thought it was really really fun. we even left the waitress a note! she was so cool. and then i woke up late sat. and went to VBS. after VBS was over i went home took a shower and then we went to the mall and after claim jumpers to eat for Jisoo's birthday dinner. After we all ate we all went to funtasia and played games and rode the go-karts. josh always got in my way, bacon got me stuck.. but in the end i had fun. after funtasia we went back to church and just hung out, and then i went home and slept. then today sunday i woke up had to pack all my stuff and then got ready for church. i got dropped off at church and ate and then we had bible sutdy..and then peq peq and i went to pochi's and got bubble tea and then we came back, and jay jang took me john and christine to wilcox for volleyball. like every other sunday we played volleyball. and then my cousin came to pick me up from the park and we drove off to oregon, made a few pit stops at my grandma's and then gas station and then a rest area. and then i went to clarissa's house ate. and we got picked up by my aunty and now im at her house. i get back in one week. but right now im pretty tired. soo im off to bed. while i watch a movie. so nighty night.

God Is Love.

Love Always, ninayoon! <3

puppppy!

Not much has been going on lately... lets go back on the week and see. Well Monday i went to Brian Na's house w/ Eric. it was fun we played with his pupppies! there super duper cute! i loveee them. And then i went bowling later that night with some of the guys. Ohhh Eric let me drive it was so much fun, but he kept freaking out like i was going to hit something, but i was like chill i know how to drive. ha and then Bacon thought i was going to hit his car. Ahh geeez. CANT WAIT TIL I DRIVE. see you all on the road. haha.  okaay and then yesterday i went to seattle center. it was alright. i went on the big blue rollercoster. that was the only fun thing i did. geez. ookaay and then when i got back i saw anahi cause she just came back from cali! pretty cool and then we went to my house and then church and then bacon took grace home and we picked up brian and then we went to BCD to eat dinner. cause Anahi wanted korean food. soo yeaah. it was pretty funn. on the way to church it was funny because Bacon farted, and it was bad and everyone sticking there head out of the window and bacon was like thats embarrassing cause everyone was looking and then i told him to do it, and then people just thought we were crazy...yeahh akwaaard. and then we went to church he poooped, and then we all went home. thaats about it. todaay hasnt really started since i kind just woke up. i dont know what imma do yet, probably hang out with anahi or something i dont know quite yet. but yeaah i think thats it. i really want to go swimming. (: kaaay well thats it for now! 

LOVE THE LOVE!

loveee always, ninaaayoon!

sunday sunday

sunday sunday sunday, what a day. well as i am typing i am sitting at church with grace and nacho. soo anyways today i woke up and i had to clean alittle took a shower and ate breakfast which i thought was kind of weird because i barely eat early in the morning except when i was at retreat.. so jeserene and i made eggs and sasagues yummmy. haha i put lot of ketchup on my eggs. cause thats the way i like em'. and then i asked my dad to drop us off at church, we missed service and just help them get ready to eat. and then we ate went to jack in the box after we dropped offf beaver cause he felt sick. and then jisoo bought soo much food, and it was funny cause i wanted a shake and we were at the window and i was like ask for a shake and he was like "is it possible if i can get some water" and kevin thought it was soo funny. he kept laughing...it was funny. and yeaah i thought it was kind of funny. but he got me water instead of a shake. but oh well and we got an extra curly fries yayy. i love brian.. like idk why but man i love the way he looks, whewww. anyways. i'm tired.... i want some applebee's... mmmmmmmmmmmmmm applebee's yeah i actually do want applebees but i think brians weird. wheewwww. hahahaha j-k but yeah and then we had bible study which went by fast because nacho was sitting next to me and we were drawing cute pictures his was the best. it was so funny. he drew everyone so weird. so after that we got ready to go to volleyball that was fun too... but then it was pouring rain! i loved it. haha yess but my toes got all mudy of yes. but me and kevin and jaymo went to safeway and got popciles and cheetos! yesss good good. and then we came to church and they played halo. yeah i owned again. sike they wouldnt let me play. oooooh and today allen smush cake on my face and bread and frosting came out of my nose. and when i sad sorry to him he acted like baby and ignored me. wow. yeah whaaatever then i take my sorry back. lol but thats about it for now. i hope we go out to eat at applesbees that would be pretty cool. yuuup kaaay

i hope that bacon josh and beaver get better!
because i dont want them to be sick anymore!
<3 okaaay. yeaaaah

love always, ninaaaayoon!

RETREAT and all that other stuff

soo anyways i came back from retreat about 2 days ago. its been good. i thought retreat was really fun! i loved it. kind of miss it. i wish it was like a week instead of 4 days. but yeaah oh wells cant wait till next years. i loved spending time with everyone and god! it was reallly goood! anyways i was kind of sad that we didnt have youth group friday but we had a halo party instead. that was pretty fun cause i owned everyone..j-k haha yeah. but today were having one at my house, in facted there playing at this moment. ah i got in trouble this morning cause patrick didnt do the dishes, but i guess its really my fault because i was really supposed to do it. oh wells. that just means everyone has to leave by 9:30 unless there spending the night. ha yeaah. oh wells. cant wait till volleyball tomorrow. but i just hope the weather changes, and it doesnt rain. yeaah! really... im tired. it smells like nasty men. but yeaah.. all im hearing is mother trucka. and like uh uhh my gosh. help me. well yeaah thats about it from now. 

god loves you!  <3

loveee always, ninayoon!

Dedication To JAYMO

Well really i was supposed to write this a while ago, but i didnt really know what to say. because i didnt really really know him as much as i kind of do now. haha but yeah im glad that i met JAY MORGAN! hes so coool. i really like talking to him. its like he knows all the answers to my question. pretty cool. hes a really nice guy too. im glad that hes going to come visit retreat atleast.. well i think hes going to visit. but i wish he was staying like everyone else. well today i got to have a one on one talk with him. cause i chose to ride with him to volleyball. just for that reason. i really like how he doesnt just explain the answer, he ask questions to me to help me understand. but mostly i dont know what to say so i just say i dont know. cause i dont know what to say. haha but yeah. i hope i get to get to know him better through out the year and everything. but im alteast really glad i know him! now i have someone else to go to when i need to talk to someone! haha but you should see his car, yeah its sooo clean. oh yeah totally. but he told me not to blog about it. (: but yeah i dont know what else to write, so i guess i'll just add more after retreat! woohoo! oh and i also like how he tries to read my blog whenever he can! pretty cool 

JAYMO IS AN AMAZING PERSON!

if you didnt already know you should get to know him yourself. 

loveee always, ninaayoon!

happy 4th of july! (:

well happy 4th of july everyone! (: wooohoo. what a wonderful day. niceee weather too. love it. its not too hot its not cold. jussst right. and the suns even out. soo yeah grades came in yesterday, but i wasnt home yesterday so i got mine today, not to bad. just 2 C's others aree greaat. atleast my GPA is higher than 3.0 woohoo. yeah but last night was a good day. i went to wilcox with some people from GPC. but there wasnt alot of people.. we played volleyball for awhile and then we cleaned up. and alot of people left before, but allen, jeserene, jisoo, sam, christine, brian na, and i left later. sam and christine went to pochis and then rest of us went to the mall. i dont really know why. because we were only there for a few minutes and then left. but the car ride was so much fun. first i was airing out my arm pits cause it was hot out..haha and then i allen wouldnt let me chose a song to play..so he played boom boom pow and it was just so funny. like the moment you would have to be there. it was good. and then we drove to church and i hung out with bacoon for awhile, kept asking him to take me to the seattle deli, but he kept saying no, no no. but then after grace called and said she needed a ride he decided to take me. but on the way of going to graces house, we didnt need to pick her up anymore. haha so basically we just went to the deli. hahah yuum. its was good. youth group was good too, it was out last time in our small groups cause after retreat we change groups. but i already know whose im in. (: luckkky me. after youth group we all went to BCD and danny chae bought me chicken! thank you dannny. it was soo good. i loved it. and then after i was sooo full. goodness. and then after we all ate, bacon dropped me off at home. and then i brushed my teeth and slept. it was soo hot though. but goood good day. i hope today will be good to. hopefully. BBQ at the park, and the kick of for retreat. oh and gossh, now im having these weird feelings for someone.. gosh i dont know why it just all of a sudden like i just thought of it yesterday too, like it waas like wow! and then i felt like crying. and bacon said it was cute, like it was kind of random, cause hes not the type of guy i would like he different...(: kaaaybye

GOD BLESS YOU ALL <3

Loveee always, ninayoon

day to day

soo anyways today i woke up and got ready to go to the post office with my daddy. and then we went to the seattle deli and got a sandwich! yuummm (: and then i came home, and used the computer and got ready to go out again with my dad and jeserene. so then we went to home depot and met jeserene and bought candles. and then drove to mukilteo.  and then we drove back home.. and sat there and on the computer! woohoo. so much fun right. yeah no. then we went to the mall, and it was fun! but actually frustrating trying to work things out so clarissa can come over here. finally after awhile i worked everything out. and it was okaay! woo. thank god for eric! (: and yeah then got picked up from the mall and now im home with jeserene. i packed some clothes, but i need a bigger bag. geeeez so much stuff. and then were going to eat, and watch transformer 2 at my houseee! its a very very good movie. lovee it. but yeah jeserenes doing her nails right now. and im texting one of my bestie tovaaaars. haha alrighty... well i hope my dad brings me yummmy yummmy pizza! (: (: (: (: oh retreats so sooon! 

we remember days, not moments <3

loveee always, ninaaayoon! 

sleep sleep eat volleyball eat chill

so today basically i just slept all day, until 5 about. and then i milaine and camille came over right when i woke up, and then i got really hungry so i was online looking at what kind of pizza i should order, and then so i called jeff to see if he wanted to go eat, but he was going to wilcox park, so i asked him if i can get a ride there and so i got ready, and then milaine and camille left. so then jeff came with luke, jason, and jp. and we went to wilcox and we played volleyball it was good. edward cho is real good! amazing hahaha he was so funny, he was one who made my day. also everyone else who was there too. if it wasnt for them i would be home sleeping still. but after volleyball we went to bdc to go eat. and the food was goood to. but hot very hot, i think i burned my tongue. and yeah then after on the way to church i called my brother do see if he was home, and sun young tried to tell me he stole my ipod, so if i go home and he did im going to be very angry. very very very. like you dont even know. and then yeah thats about it... im at church with everyone. mostly just all guys.. like triple sam, allen, jisoo, josh, eric, and bacoooon! yuup. going home latteeerz. but today was a gooood.(:

god is love

love always, ninayoooon! <3

Dollla Dolla Bill Yall.

its summmer, im spending too much money. geez, so last night we all went bowling. it was pretty fun, but i didnt bowl because i didnt have socks, but i took sara's and then i bowled but i sucked so gave her socks back. and yeah we had nasty 50 cent hot dogs, and also the people there were kind of rude, well getting food yeah. and then i went home, no one was home like always. but it was kind of scary. but then i went back out with my friend but we got into a arugement, so it didnt go so well. but yeah whateveeer. and today i woke up extra early like 9:20 and went jogging.. yeah with jeff, sara, allen, sam, and andrew. one the car was squished and then also i got tired fastly. soo allen who was roller bladding walked with me. we had bonding time together. it was goooood. hahah yeah. and then after we were done, we left to seattle deli, which is my favorite (: haha yess so good. i bought everyone food, well except sara and andrew. because sara bought her's and andrew didnt eat. and so we ate at pochis and it was good. and then we went to BCD because andrew and allen were still hungry so we sat there and watch them eat. and then after we ate we all got dropped off, i went home. and then i rested. and then my brothers friends came over. and jeserene came too. and sungho was made because he's weird and he brought a water gun and tried to shot me. and so we had a water fight. then i went to church, to hang out with them. and yeah praise practice..and then i went home. and did nothing.

GOD BLESS ALL!

loveeee always, ninayoon<3

Sweet Oh Summer.

Geeeez, Trying day last night. We went to the park after church to play volleyball. It seriously took forever to set up the net, after an hour or so they gave up and used the old one. Wow. but yeah then they played forever, so some of the girls and i decided to start a game of football, that went pretty goood! it was fun. my team won! yeah cause were so good. and yeah then after the volleyball was finally over all the guys decided to join in our game..and it eventually they TOOK OVER! WOOOOW. so all the girls gave up. haha so part from that [ i think jaymo is super duper cool, and hes also really good at tetris. he was sitting there yesterday at church playing on his laptop forever, haha i was right next to him for the most part. his really funny too.  im really liking GPC! i like everyone in it, and i just like going everyday, its like our new hang out spot. lol but yeah i love how we all just get along so well. yeah i just love it. ] well then after we left the park we went to go eat at applebees, we order 4 30 piece wings! yes i ate 8. and then went over to patricks table and ate there food (: yumm. haha but yeah. i cant wait till retreat its going to be awesome. one more weeek. the only thing i might just hate is the bugs, and no phone! ): but its only 4 days right. haha yeah so long. and yeah soo great. thats about it for the day yesterdaaay. no much to say. oh and the WORST thing ever. i dropped my phone in ranch. haha ew. day after day. bad luck with my phone. geeez. 

God is Love. 

Lovee Alwaaays & Forever. ninaaayoon<3

Water Balloons.

today we had this big water balloon fight at GPC. it was prettty goood. oh my, everybody got soaking wet, geeez. we filled up more than 100 balloons, and then the brawl began. haha but yeah it was pretty greaaat! but after i "thought" it was over, i changed my shirt so i can dry off. but my shorts were soaked. and then i put my phone around my neck, and then i sad in the sun to dry my shorts, ANDREW LING came behind me and threw a bucket of water all over me. yeah i was pretty pissed off, mostly because i had my phone. i went off at him for a little bit, and elizabeth dried off my phone for me. and then i went inside and well now there is just a little bit of water left in the screen, still kind of works. but its all gooood. he said sorry, and gave me a hug, was just a tad bit to close for me. but yeah i forgive him. and then we cleaned up, i took his shirt cause i had nothing to wear. but yeah then went to eat  and then now im home because my dad wont let me sleep at "someones" house, how rudeeeeee. pretty gooood day. 

loveee always, ninayoon<3

Last Day Of Schoool.

So today i decided to join blogspot, i dont know why probably because i like to blog. lol but yeah school just ended, yeah wednesday was our last day of school, we had this big bbq at golden gardens it was pretty coool.There was a bunch of people, and Hanna and I cooked the best chicken wings ever! and also i made this amazing hamburger, it was goood. you dont even know. and we also made smores, well mine didnt come out soo well. But the night was great. Fridays bbq was pretty good as well, the chicken was the best again. honey glazed bbq wings. (: yummmy. well yeah.m kind of sad schools over, but then again 3 months is greaaat. Summer just started, but it still feels just like a weekend. Last summer was really great. Hope this ones waay better. I really want to try and hang out with errr'buddy. yeah my goal. Retreats soon im not sure if im going to go, still thinking about it. I might have to visit my momma but yeah. well off to these wonderful SUNNY DAYS! <3(:

lovee always, ninayoon<33